Looking into–or at, rather–the Recent Past
I had never really thought of contacts as anything but as vehicles of sight. But lately, I’ve begun to think of them as tiny, gelatinous states of the personal unions.
I use the two-week disposable kind, and I order three months’ worth at a time. That’s the smallest bulk-amount the company will let you buy, and even though I’m pretty sure my prescription won’t change (though, what with all this computer stareage, it’s impossible to tell what can happen from one month to another, so why be hasty?), I choose that set because I like to play a little game with myself.
The rules are simple. In fact, they merely consist of reaching for that last right eye/left eye packet and considering “what has transpired since I first ordered these boxes? What have I done, what have I thought, what have I seen or am I happy?” These clear cutlet-like blobs give me a gut-check. They force me to wonder whether I’ve been productive, whether I’ve made the right choices–or those with which I can live. They require a brief time-out in which I must plan for the things I wish to have happened by the next time I’m reaching for those packets, a new three month period gone by.
The six month game would yield too much pressure; don’t even mention a year. Three months, though. A lot can happen in three months, but I can forgive myself if the steps have been small, and the pace has been slow. So I keep it at three months, and I think “that’s enough.”
Leaning over the sink, index finger poised as if pointing, last lens positioned on its tip, I enact a sort of dim-visioned diary entry. And each time, I hope the next set will find me ever further, new images lodged gleefully in memory, always at peace.
What a profound way of looking at something as mundane as contact lenses! Only a deep thinker like Deborah Stokol would come up with this introspection. Now… as I order my next batch of lenses, I better stick to the three-month supply or else I too will be feeling the pressure! I hope that your next three months will bring you many happy moments to reflect upon when you reorder and don’t be harsh on yourself. I will try not to be too critical of myself either. Keep thinking! it is always a pleasure to read your thoughts.